I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
