I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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