i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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