do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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