I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
