weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
