i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
