My pussy is not your playground.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
