I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize