okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
