when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize