I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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