it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
