We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
