So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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