just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
