Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
