her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
