hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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