2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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