sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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