Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
