Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
