fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
