So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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