dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
