I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
