That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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