Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
