you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
