I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
