Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
