This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
