Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
