my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
