Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
