so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
