the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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