I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
