Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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