God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
