scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
