Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
