Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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