I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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