Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my poor anus
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
