Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
