i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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