exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize