As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
