So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
