you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
