drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.