Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver