that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
