I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
