last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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