How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
