I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
