see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
